HOW TO FOLLOW YOUR DREAMS WHEN YOUR FAMILY DISAPPROVES
There comes a time in life when you must choose your own path, follow your own wisdom, navigate your own inner compass and trust your intuition above and beyond the approval of your family.
HOW TO STAY CONNECTED TO YOUR FAMILY
If you feel a deep desire to stay connected to your family, first ask yourself if you are willing to drop the need to control the level of acceptance or understanding by your family when choosing a different path. If the answer is yes, everything is possible. In the beginning stage it will be a balancing act between quantity and quality… less can be more when you begin to practice a new way of “relating” to your family and you might need “time outs” to balance out the desire to be your own person and the desire to stay connected to your family.
WALK YOUR TALK
On a practical level I know, this is easier said then done!! Especially when the people closest to you are pushing your buttons, but remember this; it is true that you cannot control what is going to happen around you, but you can control your own reactions. Those reactions are going to determine your reality. It’s your reactions that make a difference on all levels of your experience; mental, emotional and physical. Taking good care of yourself during this time is crucial! Learn to respect your own boundaries and retreat whenever you feel you need to recharge your batteries.
THE POWER OF KINDNESS AND COMPASSION
When you are faced with family members that don’t understand or do not accept your choices, you have 2 options…you can be flexible and bend or you can be rigid and break. Resistance from your family, how challenging it may be, actually presents you with a golden opportunity to grow and expand on all levels of your being. There is a famous quote by Wayne Dyer that says: “When given the choice between being right or being kind, choose kindness…” Just feel into these words, feel into the energy, feel how there is tremendous power inside of every little act of kindness and compassion.
FEELING THE FEAR AND DOING IT ANYWAY
When it comes to family, it’s okay to take baby steps and ease them into your world. I know it can be scary, just being yourself is one of the biggest fear of humans. We all have learned to live our life trying to satisfy other people’s demands. We all have learned to live by other people’s points of view because of the fear of not being accepted and of not being good enough for someone else. It takes courage to be yourself, so don’t be to hard on yourself and take as much time as you need.
PRACTICE WHAT YOU PREACH
Ask yourself this; are you willing to accept and possibly understand the choices of your family, how restricting or limiting they may seem to you? Are you respecting their free will, their individual and or collective agreements? At its heart, being respectful means showing that you value other people’s perspectives, and that you trust that they too are on the path they need to be right now.
LEADING BY EXAMPLE
It is very important that you be fully expressed, and at the same time being committed to be kind and compassionate. When you are fully being you, those around you can know who you are, where you fit, how to interact with you, and so that they can be all they can be in relation to you. You being an example of your fully expressed self is the best way to assist everyone else in being the most they can be.
EVERY RELATIONSHIP IN YOUR LIFE CAN BE WONDERFUL
But it’s always going to begin with you…becoming aware of your reactions is the key to having a wonderful experience and the super power to stay connected with your family. With practice, you can learn to control emotional knee-jerk reactions whenever someone pushes your buttons and triggers you.
The main goal is to be in control of your own frequency, that is the work! It is not up to you to control the other person’s frequency. If you respect and accept the choices of the other person, you allow them to take full responsibility for themselves! Once you get the hang of this, you can truly start to change ALL your relationships, and ultimately change your relationship to life itself.
LOVING COMMUNICATION TIPS
• Hold space and observe without judgement
• Share how you feel without going into victim-mode
• Verbalize your preferences without being demanding
• Be vulnerable rather than having your guard up
• Use a quiet, controlled, respectful voice and tone
• If necessary, halt the conversation before things get too out of control and you say something you’ll regret
• Don’t take jabs at each other or shame and blame one another
• Be present rather than being stuck in the past
• Practice active listening and agree on not interrupting
• Don’t withdraw or give each other the silent treatment
• Sit close while you are talking and bring in touch when possible
Written and shared with love and respect for everybody’s choices and preferences,